i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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