i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
