Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
third nipple confirmed
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
