Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
