someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
