Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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