PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
