Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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