their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
