hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
