I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
