Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
