if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
