"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
