the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
