Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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