if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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