That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
