This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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