shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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