so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Come on in and take your pants off
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