it was like having sex with a tree stump
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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