Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
