I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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