You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
