Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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