got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
