I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
