There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
