you turned your livingroom into a bong?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
