Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
