party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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