What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
