yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
