You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
