His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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