His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
