u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You made out with two different species that night
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
