I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
