His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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