Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
