what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
