Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
