Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
