Got a toothbrush?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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