I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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