i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
