It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
