hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
