Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
